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Dating Is Hard...

1:01 PM

I don't necessarily agree with that statement, but it was definitely a topic of discussion while on Twitter the other night. Last year, a lot of us joined online dating sites, I talked about my experience after joining with a friend. That was just one experience out of the many others that followed, but what I noticed is that, dating isn't really hard as much as it is just a lot. Here's the things, the getting to know you stage is exhausting. Think about it, you have to text, talk on the phone, or talk face to face about yourself probably more often than you'd like. You have to bring this person up to speed on your life and what makes you who you are. I'm 29, that's a lot of talking and explaining.

In a way you're pitching yourself to these people who don't know you but want to. You have to talk about things you haven't talked about in forever, things you don't really care to talk about again. You have to sit and listen to someone talk about themselves, some things you'll care about, others you'll have no use for. But you sit there, and you listen because you might need this information one day, or what they say might be a deal breaker. So even if what is being said doesn't seem important, you have to listen, because you might need it later.

Who has the time? 

I didn't realize how much I don't want to be anybody's girlfriend until recently. I started dating again recently, and realized that the responsibility of a relationship with another human being might not be what's best for me right now. Why? Because I don't care enough. I've never been the girl who needed to be in a relationship to know that my life is on the right track. I don't want to get married so there really is no rush to find the one. If I wanted to have a baby tomorrow, I could do that with or without a man, so again, there is no rush. Falling in love isn't exactly number one on my list of things to do. I've been in love, and although falling in it is beautiful and amazing, if and when you fall out and make contact with the hard reality that it is in fact over, that shit hurts. I don't have the space for heartbreak right now. 

My aunt constantly talks to me about settling down and living in sin. There is this ridiculous belief that when you are alone, you are lonely. This is false. I have amazing people in my life that I have dinner with and hike with that give my life purpose. I have kids that are amazing, and I have a life that I'm living that takes up a lot of my time. For now, that's enough. Nobody wants to be alone forever. However, everyone isn't in a place where they can accept and appreciate a forever kind of love. I know I'm not. So why would I bring someone into my life and settle down, when I'm just getting the party started? I have some living to do, and forever isn't on the menu for the early part, if any part, of my 2015.

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