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Alana Needs A Break

1:29 AM

Angie, Alana, Stephen, and Rilee
I went hiking with friends a couple of days ago. It was a plan that started with one person and snowballed into a group activity. We'd been trying to find the right time and day to do this activity, but it just never lined up. One day I decided that we were going to do it and I contacted everyone that I knew wanted to go and the majority of my friends said yes. Nia Long said, "when you keep saying you don't have the time, that is when you won't have the time." I spend most of my time thinking about the time I don't have, this is my flaw. I own this.

Angie enjoying the hike
You can't see it in the photos but our phones were always accessible. However, I was the only one occupied by my phone. While hiking, it is almost impossible to get service, you can try but until you get really close to the top, your phone usually makes no noise. Unless you're me. Nobody got service on this hike but me, and in a way I felt like I was being tested. I failed miserably. I received emails from my writers, PR reps, and even an emergency text message from another co-worker who couldn't make it to the hike. "Alana, ignore it!" "Just tell them you didn't have service!" My friends yelled at me as they continued to hike and I stood a few feet answering texts, and emails that couldn't wait until we finished. Just one more text and I could join my friends in the fun that was being had without me.  

The text messages and emails didn't stop until it was time to head back down the trail. By the time we started bouncing down (some of us running from bugs) the rocky path, all emails were answered and I had solved all of the problems, but what had I gained besides a shift on my day off and more questions I'd have to answer later on in the week? I enjoyed being with my friends, and watching them experience what I'd already experienced more times than I can count, but when I walked into my house, and moved around preparing to shift my day to accommodate others, I had a thought: I really need a break.

Stephen, Rilee, and Angie attempting to jump
I've been working my ass off to make certain things in my life happen so that I could accomplish goals that I set for myself last year. In doing so, I've worked myself into a state of unhappiness. The people around me see the things I do as "cool" and "exciting" I'm just exhausted and I'm not giving myself the chance to enjoy these things. I don't want to look up a year or two from now and wonder where the time went. I want to look back and say, "I remember that! It was a really great time." So, this is me no longer saying I don't have the time, or putting people first, this is just me living, and the next time we go on a hike (which will be very soon) I'm going to leave the phone in the car and just take my digital camera with me. I want to stop and smell the roses. I don't want to depend on someone else telling me how amazing they smell.

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