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Closure: You May Never Get It

11:01 AM

Closure: A feeling of finality or resolution, especially after a traumatic experience.

It's different for everyone. We don't all need it to move on to the next thing or get on with life. Sometimes, it's just as simple as charging it to the game and moving on. That's not the case for everyone, some people need that ending, they need to know why.

Yesterday, like every other day, my people on Twitter had a discussion. This particular discussion surrounded closure and those who need it. There were a few opinions that I agreed with, but more that I disagreed with. One person said, "They need that closure, that "I'm sorry", so that they can feel better about letting that person back into their life." It's not always about that. Sometimes, people want an I'm sorry because they feel like it's what is needed to move forward.

There is a quote by Oprah that I love,  she says, "What we all want is to be seen and heard, and to know that what you say really matters." It is very possible that the person looking for closure just wants the other person to say, "I hear you. I get it." That is the closure for some. It is impossible to get that when the person you're dealing with isn't showing any signs of "getting it".

Getting closure does not mean making the same mistake with the same person. But rather trying to figure out why your actual outcome was different from the one you expected.

The problem with wanting and seeking closure is that it's so easy to lose yourself while seeking it. You become consumed with the "what if" and closure then becomes a need which eventually turns into an obsession. Closure, there is nothing wrong with wanting it, but if you aren't getting it, you have to find a way to let go of the hope that one day you will. Give yourself closure by letting it go.

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