Ain't I Black Enough?

1:45 AM

"Someone is always at my elbow reminding me that I am the granddaughter of slaves. It fails to register depression with me." ~Zora Neale Hurston

I have never been what is considered, "black enough." I do not use slang, I do not roll my neck when stating my displeasure, and I therefore do not fit the stereotype of the average black girl. I was born in Decatur, IL, I lived in Johnstown, PA for almost five years of my life, and I grew up in Los Angeles, CA. I went to a colorful school, no one race was more important than the next. The way I spoke, dressed, or carried myself never mattered in school. But it mattered. It some.

I see it, when people meet me after speaking to me on the phone. It's a look of shock, and wonder. They are wondering who I am, why I speak the way I do, they wonder why I am so different from the black people they see on TV or randomly in the street. I am not what is considered black

My friends are not one race, I don't struggle to mesh with other races. I've always been able to adapt to any environment,  this confuses people who believe that we are all the same, that we are all supposed to hang out in one group. Where is my loud voice, they wonder. Why am I not dressed like every other black girl walking around the mall? Their heads turn and shock covers their faces. I am often reminded that I will never be the poster child for black girls, because I do not act black enough. I do not act black at all.

Regardless of the color of my skin or how I talk or who I am friends with, I get the job, I smile and everyone smiles back at me. I am educated, I am a person who just so happens to be black. My DNA proves that I am more than a black girl, but ain't I black enough? I am aware that I will have this problem of not being enough for those who think I am supposed to be one way, but it is not my problem to solve.

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