Is It Ever Ok?

2:28 AM

A few years ago I was sitting in my room minding my business, when I heard a scream. It's not uncommon for me to hear noise in the neighborhood I live in. But this scream was different from the norm. Someone was hurt, and wanted it to stop. A man's voice covered my room like a dark cloud.

What did I tell you? What the fuck is wrong with you? He screamed, and she continued to scream for help. I didn't have to call the police because I knew that the nosy neighbor in my building was already dialing. But my spirit was disturbed. I got on Facebook and mentioned the situation, I needed to get rid of the thoughts, and I wasn't really using my blog the way I do now. I received a comment from someone, he said I wasn't in the house, therefore I had no idea why the guy might be angry. The comment crushed and angered me. Did it really matter why he hit her?

There have been many discussions on the internet these past weeks about men hitting women. With videos like the one of the bus driver hitting a passenger, and this recent one of a Chicago rapper beating and stomping on a girl circulating, the conversations have grown even more intense. On one side, you have people saying that a woman shouldn't raise her hand to a man unless she's ready to deal with the repercussions. The other side says that a man should never touch a woman, because men are stronger than women.

I don't condone violence. Men should keep their hands to themselves, and women should do the same. I've always believed that if a woman puts her hands on a man, he has every right to restrain her. That does not however mean he should hit her. It means, grab her hands, or wrap your arms around her body, because the reality is, you as a man have the upper hand. Men are stronger than women. One punch with the right amount of force can lay a woman out, or at least land her on her ass. Men know this, as do women. 

Just because a woman knows this, does that mean the man has the right to beat her when she puts her hands on him?

The videos above show two totally situations handled the exact same way, one more harsh than the other. When these videos hit the net, and Twitter and Facebook got their hands on them, the jokes started rolling in. People laughed and posted pictures, and pointed fingers, and made every excuse for the men. Are we not supposed to hold these men accountable?

In the bus driver's situation both parties were wrong, she should have kept her hands to herself, and he should have found another way to deal with her. However, in the second video, only one person was wrong. The man who jumps up in the air and stomps on a woman's head because she asked him to leave, and pushed his hand out of her face. One is definitely more disturbing than the other.

The most disheartening thing about all of this was the women who commented on the video of the rapper, SHE PROVOKED HIM, they tweeted. The comment left me wondering, would those same women feel that way if they were the ones laying on the ground with a shoe coming down on their face? What if it were their daughter, would he still be justified? Or do the rules change when the violence is no longer just on a computer screen, but becomes a reality, your reality? 

When do the jokes stop, and the help start?

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