No Babies On Board!

12:38 AM

My niece is turning nine this week, and it's causing my mother to lose her mind. 

Alana, have a baby. I can't get a grandchild from anyone else, you're the last one left.

So now I'm her last hope! I mean, I get it, she's having a hard time letting go and allowing the babies, who aren't babies anymore, to grow up and move on. But I don't want kids, and even if I did, I wouldn't want them now. I'm twenty six years old, still trying to live. I can't do the things that I've put in my vision book with a baby on my hip. I  didn't even put a baby in that book.

My first reaction was to panic. I mean, I thank God every year that I see another birthday and I am without child. All I've ever asked for in life is to have healthy edges, (cc:Naomi Campbell) not have a kid in my twenties, and to see the world before I settle down. Whatever that means. That's all I asked for. So why is my mother trying to ruin my plans? Why doesn't she want me to have nice things? 

I told her that I would probably end up having a kid once I'd settled in New York. She then told me that if I did that, I would have to send MY BABY to her every summer. Listen. LISTEN! She wants joint custody of a child that isn't hers, or mine for that matter, since I haven't even had said kid. 


My mom is really going to have to get over this baby thing. I wonder if I get her one of those babies for grieving mothers, maybe she'll leave me alone. Maybe?

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