"If you fired me today, I wouldn't cry"

7:26 PM

I said this to my manager last week. I did not flinch when the words left my mouth, I did not regret my decision to be brutally honest, and weeks later, I still don't care. Honestly, I was hoping she'd put her hand out and say to me, keys please. But alas, that did not happen, she just asked me, so what are you going to do? I quickly answered, "I'll find another job, I'm twenty six. I have a lot of experience in this field along with others, I will find another job. Besides, this isn't my career." Her eyes grew wide at my honesty, but I could tell that she understood.

She knew that I was done, and that like I said, I'd be ok if I lost my job. No job should consume your life, it shouldn't make you miserable, and it shouldn't have you in anyboy's bathroom suffering from a panic attack. I had to learn this the hard way, but the point is, I learned. It's not too late. I took a risk when I decided that I was going to change my major, I went from being a psych major to a English major. I knew that I was taking a risk when I decided that I wanted to be a writer more than I wanted to be a doctor. Going to school to be a doctor, I was competing only with myself, but as an asipiring writer, I am now working ten times harder to carve out a spot for myself. I am working harder to show people why they should read the things that I write, and I am working harder than I ever thought possible. But it doesn't feel like work.

Do you know how many of us are in these streets working at becoming a writer? It's not about stepping on anyone to make it to...wherever your destination may be. It's about finding your voice, and being heard, it's about showing people who you are, and what makes you special. I'll be honest, I am terrified of the uncertainty that comes with being a writer, pitching an idea to a magazine, and getting my first novel published. I am terrified because I don't know if I'll be able to make a career out of this thing I love, but I'd do it for free (and I am) which tells me that I am doing exactly what I'm supposed to be doing.

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