Daddy issues...

11:22 PM

I have them

They say little girls marry their fathers, and if that's true, it would explain why I never want to get married. My father never mistreated me, but he definitely didn't treat my mother the way I thought she deserved to be treated. Watching them, I knew that there was no way in hell I'd ever allow any man treat me that way. I watched my parents and when they weren't getting along, I would think, why would you want to be tied down to this? This isn't to say that my father is a bad person, he and my mother just don't match.

My mother loves, and she loves hard. My dad is unloveable. For some reason, he almost always rejects the love given to him. You try to get close, he let's you get just close enough and then does something that makes you want to say, "forget this" and never try again. But you'll always go back and try again, and you'll hope that maybe, the next time it will be different. Maybe the next time your love will be enough to make him lower his voice, speak to you like you are human. However, things will most likely never change.

              I love because my mother taught me how

This brings me to my "daddy issues" that then become relationship issues. I don't want to live the way my mother does. I believe she deserves better, but it's not my life to live. So, I live my life the way I wish she would. I don't put up with bullshit, and the moment anyone I'm dating, or could possibly see myself dating does something (no matter how small it may be) I'm out. I want absolutely nothing to do with the person. I'm never open to working it out. I mean, why should I? I look at this now, and see that there is a problem here. I don't have to be my mother, and I don't have to make the next man pay for my father's fuck ups. The reality is, I'm still a work in progress.

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