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My Dating Life Ain't Been No Crystal Stair....

3:12 AM

When the year started, I made the announcement that I would start dating again. I was all, it's a new year, a new day, a new looooove...and I haven't done that in a while,  think I'll do that! *snaps fingers* *does dramatic hand gestures* I was remixing the hell out of Jennifer Hudson's Weight Watchers commercial. Yeah, that didn't really happen the way I thought it would. I haven't been avoiding dating, I just haven't been doing it. And I didn't even realize that I  hadn't been trying to date until the other day.

While on Twitter, Bassey tweeted something like (don't quote me), I'm not attracted to one single person right now. That's me paraphrasing but you get the point. She was saying that she sees a guy, and yeah, he may be attractive, but she has no interest in the guy. Yes, he may be this awesome person, but, eh, what's one more awesome person in the world? And I get it, my goodness, do I get it.

It's funny, lately I've been grabbing the attention of a lot of men. This isn't new to me(that probably sounded really...but I didn't mean...well, never mind), so I'm not sitting around like, OMG is he talking to me?! Yes, he is! It's more like, why? I don't give off vibes that I am even remotely interested in any guy. I don't smile, wave, or even make eye contact for that matter. Honestly, when I see a guy coming my way, I pull out my cell phone and act like I am tweeting or I'm looking to my left if he is on my right, or to my right if he is on my left. I'm just...not interested. The attraction is not there right now. Does that mean I'm attracted to women now? No. What it means is, I have no interest in dating anyone right now.

My aunt was visiting recently, and she tried to hook me up with every man she saw that she thought may be a good man for me. There was the cable guy who obviously liked me but was way too shy to even ask me my name. His jokes were corny, and he was treating me like some celebrity he always wanted to meet. I was immediately turned off by him. It's one thing to be shy, but he made me uncomfortable. I'm a normal person, who works, goes to school, and breathes just like everybody else, why treat me like a fragile piece of glass? Then there was Tristan from the Apple store and an actor in one of my favorite shows. He was cute, funny, and interesting, but again, I wasn't attracted to him. I don't know if he was interested in me, I was too busy trying to ignore his co-worker who wouldn't stop staring at me. He looked like he was going to approach me, luckily, Tristan (the guy who sold my cousin his Macbook) was finishing up the tutorial of how to work the computer. After setting everything up, He hugged my aunt, gave my cousin some fancy handshake, and then turned to me (who had completely ignored him the entire time) and said,  you want a hug too? Come on, give me some love. And proceeded to hug me. There was nothing there, no spark, no interest, just a stranger hugging a stranger who couldn't wait to get out of the store. But according to my aunt, we go together. He was the one, she wanted me to date him. The only thing is, I didn't want to date him. 

                                  I don't want to date any man right now 

I use to blame a past recent situation for my lack of dating, but in reality, I just don't want to. I have so much to do, so much I want to get done before I get into a serious relationship, (my next relationship will have to be serious). I have no time to focus on a man that I don't even know I'll ever meet or ever love. This isn't about being irresistible to the males around me, but about me and my reaction or non reaction to men right now. I'm not use to feeling this way.

When I think about dating, I think to myself, where would a man fit into my life right now? The answer is, nowhere. I don't have a spot for a man in my life, I don't even have standing room for a man right now. And even if I did, I don't know if I'd want it right now. I see a man who would usually interest me, and I'm like, he's fine! And then I think, now back to my list of things to finish or start. I can't even focus long enough to get to know a man. 

Can we talk about the man who tried to get my number while I was walking through the mall today trying to get to work on time? Sir...SIR! I don't have the time! *sigh* THIS is why I'll probably be forever alone. Maybe I should start a support group for women like myself. I'll call it, Women Who Have Too Much Shit To Do To Worry About Dating...Forever Alone. Too long? Oh...ok.

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