"Your being here, your very existence here - because you made it, you are worthy.” ~Oprah

11:58 AM

It is 1:30am and I am sitting on the couch watching Oprah (who I admire) say good-bye to those who adore her, and those who don't understand her. My love for Oprah has always been questioned and criticized because not everyone understand WHY I love this woman I've never met. I don't judge those people, I look at them and wonder if they've ever admired anyone, if they still admire them, why and why not.

"There is a common thread that runs through all of our pain and all of our suffering and that is unworthiness."

Over the years, she has taught me that's it's ok to be who I am. That my being here is not a mistake. That I have a purpose. She's made me want to be better, not half ass anything I do. And most of all not to accept less than what I deserve, because I AM deserving.

"Everybody has a calling and your real job in life is to figure out what that is and to get about the business of doing it"

The last two episodes of her show where Morehouse scholars came out to honor her just...broke me. I wasn't always sure that I was going to go to college, least of all finish. But I knew that I wanted a career. I also knew that in order to have the career that I desired I would HAVE to go to college and finish. Because of the JOB I do have, I don't have nearly enough time to take the amount of classes I need to take. But, I'm not quitting. I've never quit anything I've started and that's partly due to what I've learned from Oprah, and also because a quitter I am not, nor will I ever be.  So as I watched these men who could not otherwise afford college had it not been for her, stand on stage and salute the woman who shaped their future, I had to wonder: even though you may not agree with everything she says, how can you possibly be mad at a woman who put these men through college, and built a school for young girls who wouldn't be getting the education afforded to them were it not for Oprah? How can you not admire a woman who speaks and people listen? Who encourages greatness and makes people want to be great?

Those of us who grew up watching Oprah, be it because our mother's were watching it, or because we wanted to see what she had to say, are struggling with the thought of not being able to turn the TV on everyday and see her face. Not having her say something...anything that let's us know that we are not alone. And although we know that we have to let go and watch her walk off that stage for the last time, it's still a hard pill to swallow.

I don't understand the judgment, and I guess it's not meant for me to understand. But my truth and my reality is: I don't look up to actresses, singers, or models. I look up to a woman who came from nothing but gives everything. And if people want to frown on that, then so be it. I won't judge you, but don't judge me for the my admiration of a woman who is more than worthy of the praise that is given to her. No, she's not God, she never claimed to be anything or anybody other than Oprah, and that's enough for most of us.

What I took away from that final episode of Oprah is: Stop wasting time. If I don't succeed, it's no one's fault but my own. I've already sat down and started thinking about changes that need to be made. I believe that Oprah said it best:

"NOBODY BUT YOU IS RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR LIFE"

In the span of her career, she has given people many things. But for me, nothing was bigger than the lesson(s) she gave on her final show. It's a gift that I'll Always cherish, it's a gift that will never go out of style. 

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