I'm Sorry...I Can't

12:20 AM

I'm not against abortion because I don't feel like anyone other than the person pregnant has the right to tell a woman what to do with her body. If a mother is not ready to have a baby, she should have that right. I'm not talking about the women who get pregnant over and over again because they know that they have the option of abortion, or the women who get pregnant to keep a man and decide to get rid of it because he didn't stick around. If I were to get pregnant right now, I would consider abortion because I'm just not ready. I would probably get my tubes to tied to make sure that it didn't happen again and that I wouldn't have to go through an abortion again. If I were to get pregnant and have an abortion, I would have some words for my unborn child...

My baby,

You have no idea what giving you up is doing to me, but I can't... I'm sorry. Understand that I'm not throwing you away, I'm trying to save you the heartache of coming into this world and being given a mother who isn't ready for you. I can't ruin what would be your life like that. You are precious to me, and mean more to me now than I ever thought possible. You sit inside of me, not yet formed into a person and yet I think about all that would be if I were able to have you. The things that we would do as mother and child:

~Play dates
~Walks in the park
~Birthday parties for you friends from school
~Watching your favorite cartoons with you on Saturday morning in our pajamas
~The hugs and kisses you would give to me I would return with just as much enthusiasm.

Those things make my heart smile, but they also make my soul cry. Because I will never meet you, hold you, hug you, wrap you in my arms when you cry, tickle you to cheer you up when you're down, and tell you I love you everyday. You are better off without me baby, because I am not ready, and you shouldn't have to pay for my mistakes because they are mine. I apologize because I love you, I apologize because I'm not giving you a chance, I apologize. You are mine, and I am yours always, but your place is not here with me in this world because I am not ready, and I will not hurt you with my inability to care for you the way you need me too. I'm sorry...I can't.

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