Delusions and Heartbreak

10:50 PM

When it comes to relationships, being delusional and naïve is dangerous. With delusion and naiveté comes excuses for the bullshit.

He’s that way because he’s stressed.

I don’t really see him because he’s busy.

I knew he was like that when I met him. I accept his flaws.

But if you think about it, and I mean really think about it. If you are so willing to accept the bullshit and make the excuses for him (or her) do you not think that you will continue to attract the same bullshit? If he was like that when you met him, why are you with him? Although this goes both ways, my biggest beef is with the delusional woman, only because women make excuses for the men that they date more than the men. That’s not to say that men don’t do it also, women just do it more.

I have a friend, she’s dating this guy. They’ve been together for a little while now, from what she tells me they really care about each other, and she can see herself falling in love with this guy. In the beginning of their relationship they were seeing each other all the time. Then one day it just sort of stopped. She had time for him, but he didn’t have time for her. Work seemed to consume his life, if he wasn’t working, he was busy doing something else. It was ALWAYS something with this guy. They went from hanging out all of the time to calling each other at night just to say good night and I miss you. She says that she’s ok with this, but I’m not crazy so I know that she is not ok with any of this, no matter what she says I know the truth. So one day I got fed up with the stories of why he couldn’t see her this week or that week and I said, “so you don’t see anything wrong with what he’s doing?” and her response was, “no, because I understand, he’s busy and blah blah blah blah blah.” That’s really what I heard, because I completely tuned her out when she started making excuses for this guy. I then went on to say, “I’m annoyed by this, because I find it hard to believe that he can’t spare two hours of his time if only to take you out to dinner and drop you back off at home with a kiss and a promise to do it again soon.” My friend started getting offended so I dropped the subject…with her. But because I love her, I was still bothered by the fact that she is was/is getting played.

So I took my concerns to people who know this person and asked if I was wrong in assuming that something was fishy as hell with this guy. Everyone’s response was the same no. I didn’t need the validation because I was going to believe whatever I believe anyway, but it did feel good knowing that I wasn’t the only one that saw it.

This takes us back to the beginning of this post where I talk about delusions and being naïve. I would love to sit here and say that my friend knows the truth and just won’t admit it to me, or that this guy is on the up and up. The truth is, I don’t believe him, and she does. I believe that my friend is in for disappointment. Sure, we all go through it (I’ve been there) but if it can be avoided, try to avoid it.

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