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Social Anxiety

1:38 AM

Social Anxiety: is a term used to describe an experience of anxiety (emotional discomfort, fear, apprehension, or worry) regarding social situations, interactions with others and being evaluated or scrutinized by other people.<=====That!

I have it.A friend of mines recently told me that I should write on this topic because I suffer from it.I thought that I had,but after searching through my previous posts I was shocked to find out that I hadn't.This THING has been with me for so long that I can't ever remember a time when I didn't suffer from it.I'm sure that if the people that hung out with me in high school were to look back they'd be able to pinpoint times when I was extremely quiet and when I was talkative.I always fall back when I'm in a large group of people that I don't know or haven't seen in a long time.I just recently brought this to the attention of the people around me because of one of my favorite bloggers and fellow tweeters Brook Lynne Carter.She too suffers from this.

To me,social anxiety can be crippling and limiting to the things that you can and will do causing you to miss out on things that you might enjoy if you just give it a chance.My mother was shocked to find out that I had this,and it kind of bothered her because of the fact that there are times when I just don't want to go into a store with her because the anxiety becomes too much for me control.For example, when we went grocery shopping for Thanksgiving, at first I was ok, but the further I walked into the store, the deeper we got into a large group of people. My Heart immediately began pounding out of my chest, and I looked as if I was a contestant on Super Market Sweeps with on 45 seconds left on the clock.lol

My anxiety is the reason I can usually tell when a guy is about to approach me, I’m very aware of my surroundings and the people that are watching me. Which is why I dress down when I am alone, I don’t want the attention nor do I need it.

The Limitations
I recently reconnected with some old high school friends and promised one of them that I would meet them for dinner.Well dinner for two soon became dinner for three(I was ok with that),dinner for three then became dinner for four(I was still ok with that).BUT then I looked up and one of those old friends had invited about twenty to thirty people to dinner and the anxiety hit.I immediately said HELL NO I WON'T GO!Not only was I not going because of my social anxiety,but I also wasn't going because of my dislike for two out of the twenty people.Had I gone,my happy ass would have sat closest to the exit or closest to the corner and ignored everyone at the table.Not ok.I know that most people don’t expect this from me because I’m always cracking jokes, smiling, and trying to uplift people, but that’s the calm me.That's not the girl that needs her space.

That's what happens when my social anxiety kicks in,I get quiet,I become introverted,and I shut down.There are ways to overcome social anxiety but I'll be ok if it never goes away.It's what makes me well...me.I'm ok with it,because here's the thing,when I have no choice but to stand up in front of a crowd(because of school or work,etc.),or I have no choice but to attend functions(family or otherwise)I suck it up,blow on my thumb(that calms your nerves...just so you know),and I do what I have to do t get things done.But as long as I don't HAVE to do something,I won't.Anxiety attacks hurt and they scare the shit out of me.

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